Gemstone Jewelry

I don’t have followers on this blog so let me just say this because I need to publish it but in a way you’ll never see. 

Mike, e-myself-and-pi, you made me think I was really special and you were genuinely interested in me. Then you move on because I wasn’t ready. For the past year I have been unsure if I still really like you, or am just deluding myself, or if we can ever really be friends.

Reading on tumblr how you’re looking for someone & going on dates really fucking hurts.     You just dropped me on my ass and moved on. 

I don’t know why the fuck I have a boyfriend when I’m still so preoccupied with you. I don’t even feel too terrible about it because I’m not as fascinated with him as I was/am with you. He’s sweet but kinda just a friend. 

WHY DID YOU TELL ME SWEET THINGS IF YOU CAN SO EASILY FORGET ABOUT IT.

I’d tell you this, but too much time has passed and I am a completely fucking worthless piece of shit.

I don’t have the self esteem to be friends with you or anyone else for that matter. 

WHEN I MET YOU I THOUGH WE WERE BECOMING FAST FRIENDS BUT YOU WERE JUST HORNY. You didn’t pressure me into anything, BUT ONCE YOU DECIDED WE WEREN’T GONNA DATE YOU PUT A LOT LESS EFFORT INTO OUR “FRIENDSHIP”, in my opinion.

I don’t know if I genuinely have feelings for you, whether I can’t let go of my first-not-really-boyfriend, or if my hormones are fucked and I have some kind of depression or emotional disorder.

So I’m trying to ignore you because you induce my emotional bawling depression attacks. But I want to spend time with you so bad. 

Goddammit, I don’t know if I’ll be happier once I forget these feels but I’ll probably think I’m being a complete idiot.

I don’t think I am interesting or have any value at all. If you don’t engage me and invite me out I won’t force myself on you.

Goddammit, I am completely worthless and just want to talk to you.